If you could describe yourself as a pair of shoes, which would you choose and why?
- They’d be 17-inch Doc Marten platforms. Literally just a stilt of a shoe covered in studs, but hot pink. Bright, a little edgy, but still badass. And gay, obviously.
Your friends are hosting a dinner. Everyone has to bring one dish. What are you bringing?
- The sugar cookies I bought at the store ten minutes before I showed up because I don’t cook. I try my best not to cook. Anyone who’s friends with me knows that if I’m coming over to a dinner party, its better for everyone if I don’t cook.
If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you use it for?
- Oh, I’ve thought very deeply about this. I would have the ability to turn invisible. I’d like to pretend that I’d use it for good, but I know damn well I wouldn’t. I would just steal shit all the time. I would sneak into expensive gyms. I would have an Equinox membership. I’d just sneak my way in. I wouldn’t be a hero. I’d be a villain, but not a supervillain. I don’t want to take over the world. I just want free Trader Joe’s pasta.
What do you think it means to live a good life?
- What I think it means to live a good life is that you’re just happy. Obviously, you make enough money, you have a job that hopefully don’t hate, and a roof over your head. Beyond that, its that you get recognized and appreciated for whatever you want to create and whatever art you have (If you do that). You wake up every morning knowing that your content. You don’t have to be thrilled about existing, but content. Solid.
If you could have a meal with one person (dead or alive), who would it be?
- Tiffany “New York” Pollard. Period. Done. I don’t even know what the topic of conversation would be, I just want to hear that woman speak. I want to hear about her trips. Like what has she done? I just feel like she’d be fun. She’d be a delightful little brunch guest. That woman is so engaging. The goddess of reality tv. So, give me Tiffany. She’s an icon.
What motivates you to wake up in the morning?
- Shit, not much anymore. The fact that I’m not a reality tv star yet, I guess. I can’t die until I’m a celebrity. That’s my whole plan. Oh my god. That’s so bleak.
What is something you work on in your free time?
- Well as a practicing queer icon makeup artist: makeup. I love doing my face and trying to come up with stupid shit. I just did a purple look as The Count. Because “Yeah stop the count!”. Get it? From sesame street.
How have you changed in the last five years?
- The last 5 years have been rocky since I’ve graduated college and such. Couldn’t hold a job for like over a year, and I was just spiraling and drinking too much. Had to move back home to Seattle just to get my shit together. I came back to New York over a year ago and I’ve just settled. I’m a much chiller person. Still like to go full crack head some of the times. A lot of the times…like last night. But I feel like I’ve become an adult over the last five years. I still don’t know what the fuck a 401k is, but it’s a process.
Describe your perfect day.
- It is a Saturday. It is middle of fall, not too different from this. I don’t have any responsibilities/plans. I wake up and I get my coffee – coffee number 1 because I’m going to have at least four cups. I walk to the park. In my perfect day, I have a dog. So, I’d take a little stroll with my puppy. Meet up with some friends and have some brunch. Have a drink that leads to more drinks. We go back to their apartment and get wasted on vodka. We stay up until 6 am on their roof looking at the stars and talking about everything from our absentee fathers to drag queens. Then, I slink home in an uber, drink a whole bottle of water, and go to bed. With my dog that I have in this fantasy.